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You can’t imagine it, Jessie J states. There she was gearing up for her new album launch in eight years, blissfully happy with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the parent to a young child after dealing with conception issues for ten years, feeling invincible. Then in spring she was found to have cancer in her breast.

The artist, actual name Jessica Cornish, is known for speaking her mind. The album, Don’t Tease Me With a Good Time, was supposed to be an candid account, dealing with every moment of pain she’d faced since she last worked on songs (a gynecological condition, pregnancy loss, failed relationships, psychological manipulation, suicide) with typical candour. The first single, No Secrets, was dropped in the spring. But by then there existed a huge secret. The cancer. Then second single, her song Living My Best Life, was released in May and the artist was giving interviews about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while still secretly dealing with her cancer. Four weeks after she went public, and in early July she had a mastectomy.

She gives me her best “What the fuck?” look. “I put out with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every interview, and they inquire, ‘What’s happening?’ and I’m, like, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” she has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s yet to undergo reconstructive surgery.

Our interview takes place at a photo studio in the capital. She is dressed in a beige fake-leather jacket, denim trousers with detailed white appliqués, off-white boots and large glasses. Picture rocker vibe meets vintage look. “As if I’m in the 1970s and I should have a boyfriend with a big tache.” A biker reference, I say, thinking of the film. “That’s what people called me at school!” She smiles. Cornish is quick, irreverent and blunt. She says she has always been interested in humor and is hoping to make her initial standup show next year. “I enjoy humor. On stage I basically roast the audience.”

Medical Challenges and Discovery

The artist was planning an performance at the awards show when she noticed an abnormality. “I quickly sought to get it looked at, had an ultrasound, and they said, ‘It looks like nothing; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I insisted, ‘Yet I sense it. My arm hurts and pins and needles in my hands whenever I get up.’ And they replied, ‘Well, let’s just do a biopsy?’ The date was March 28, the following my birthday.” It was a Friday. The physician told her if it was serious she’d call on the start of the week. By then Cornish had assured herself it was nothing. The way she explains it, it was inopportune to receive a diagnosis when she had many commitments.

“It was a fortnight prior from releasing the album after eight years without an album and an extended break. And she contacted me and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I assumed, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I jump on the Zoom believing it’s all going to be good, and she goes, ‘Please take a seat.’ That sympathetic voice? And she says, ‘Unfortunately but your reports have come back as malignant cells.’” How did you respond? “I replied, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. That’s not fucking great timing.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘I have to survive for my boy.’”

Some men find me challenging due to my self-awareness

She considered the operation terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. You’re escorted. During crises you roll down in a bed, but then I just strolled down with a hospital gown and my rear exposed. It felt surreal.” But, she notes, she’s been fortunate. No chemo, no radiotherapy, just the procedure. “Cancer sucks, man, but yet Thank fuck I found it early. I underwent removal a few months back and my affected breast now appears as a fruit under fabric.” She smiles again. “At least the nipple remains.”

The follow-up procedure is both medical and cosmetic. Her breasts, she remarks, are now “different sizes. The size doesn’t match. That’s impolite! I felt, no need to bully me, I’m already having a difficult experience. So rude! Ironically I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got OCD, and I know they’d never be flawless. My plans were disrupted.”

A History of Health Challenges

She is no stranger to illness. She feels her outlook on her diagnosis has been so positive because she’s used to health crises. They have often coincided with peak moments, acting as a reminder, or shock, to make her recall not to assume everything is fine. “Honestly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘You having a good time? Hold on.’ From a young age, it has always gone alongside moments of success for me; a serious or unusual issue has happened to my health.”

She takes me back to her 11-year-old self, already beginning performing in the West End in a musical (she was selected at the age of nine). That’s when she was diagnosed with the cardiac issue a syndrome, which can cause a tachycardia as well as lightheadedness and palpitations. “I rehearsed between visits on an IV drip, and returning to the hospital at night.” She skips forward half a dozen years, and young Jessica has become part of the girl group the group while studying at the academy. “I secured a deal, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was ready to debut in recently I had a automobile accident and my larynx moved up and I couldn’t sing for a twelve months.”

Hey, I say, wait, I am overwhelmed. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees